The Netflix Martyr
Alright folks, it's been fourteen years since we, the people, entered the twenty-first century and it's been roughly four years since we entered the 2010s. Society has definitely changed rapidly since the 2000s and the changes it's undergone may seem small in our minds at the moment, but when we look back at the last decade and our current one, we can see how different things truly are. Ten years ago today the vast majority of us probably didn't have cell phones and if any of you did, then I applaud you. Owning a cell phone at that time was pretty much being a hipster before it was cool to be a hipster.
"ZOMG! The Nokia 7280 doesn't support Instagram?! Heathens!"
You'll probably remember using some kind of landline telephone service with an answering machine for all your incoming calls. When people found themselves in awkward situations they had to soldier through it and stare at their shoes uncomfortably, unlike today. Today, if I find myself in the middle of a family quarrel or striking out with women there's a simple solution to make it seem like I'm not the anti-social freak I really am: my smartphone. When people take out their iPhones and Droids and tap around on the screen, I used to assume they were busy talking business with important people or at least actively trying to be social. It wasn't until a couple years ago when I bought my own phone did I discover I was doing the same thing, but I sure wasn't being social. In fact, I was usually pretending to text or I was playing a game to avoid communication with a physical human being in front of me but I didn't want them to think I was socially inept.
Without a doubt, smartphones are the most definitive piece of technology of this generation, much like how the creation and spread of the internet was the big technology oriented achievement of the last generation. By owning a smartphone, a person's life totally becomes easier and simplistic in some ways. Owning one of these devices practically defeats the purpose of purchasing a thousand dollar computer when almost every feature on a personal computer comes with a smartphone, only easier and more accessible for even the most technically disabled people. For example, my grandfather was born during the 1940s where using terms like the internet, web browser, touchscreen, and WiFi would've put you in a mental institution or at least draw some funny looks towards you from the folks walking by your street corner pulpit.
Needless to say, Jesus Against Terabytes isn't a popular group even in modern days
But see, my grandfather's generation learned how to live without these twenty-first century conveniences and still managed to rack up an impressive list of achievements for their generation, albeit the minor little thing we call the Cold War. Heck, it's hard to imagine what life would've been like if they hadn't gotten around to creating duct tape! One could even go as far as to say that generation was pretty much full of MacGuyvers when you consider the fact that the scientists of that era figured out how to maintain the lunar lander module's temperature with aluminum foil and tape. However, modern technology is where those geniuses get a little funny. Tell a member of "The Greatest Generation" or "The Silent Generation" to perform a task on a computer beyond checking their email, googling, using Facebook to stalk their family members, or any other basic functions. Odds are, they'll probably ask for your help even if they just want to know why their web browser has suddenly slowed down to a crawl.
"No grandma it's not the computer mouse's fault. Yes grandma there's a reason the IT Guy is screaming."
But a little company called "Apple" has solved the issue of making technology more accessible for everyone. With Apple's iOS and Mac OS X operating systems, literally everything a person needs to perform the basic functions of a computer is right at their fingertips. Today, Apple's operating systems are famous for their easy to understand user interface and all around accessibility for all age groups. One of the great results that have come along with senior citizen friendly smartphones are the wondrous apps. In short, smartphone apps allow you to do anything a computer can in a simpler and sometimes more accessible fashion on your phone. I've even found some apps to be designed specifically to be used on mobile than on your computer. Instagram can be used on a PC but why would you do that? The Instagram app is easier to use and more effective when used on a phone.
Now, there are some apps we use specifically for streaming video content. Hulu, YouTube, Amazon Instant Prime, and the whole reason I started this blog in the first place: Netflix. Netflix is a video streaming service that boasts more than 2,000 films all available for streaming at anytime. Because the service cost is roughly the same amount as buying a Subway sandwich once a month, more than forty-four million people worldwide are using Netlix, earning the company a revenue of a whopping $4.37 billion.
Many people I talk to about Netflix treat it like it's some sort of gift from God Himself but I beg to disagree. In fact I call B.S. on those kinds of statements not because I have a burning hatred for the service or because I think I hate mainstream media. No, it's because I don't think God hates humans enough to give them titles like "Class of Nuke 'Em High", "Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark", and "Return of the Killer Tomatoes".
Jesus died for this.
Netflix is littered with all kinds of utter crap like the titles mentioned earlier and to me that's unacceptable. Obviously people who buy and use Netflix are movie and television fans in some ways. Regardless of who you are, NOBODY wants to watch a movie that looks like it was produced and directed by teenagers at film camp. For every one movie on Netflix that people have actually heard of and will probably enjoy, there are about ten other films produced on the budget of an eight-year-old. There have been many a time when I have had somebody over to watch something on Netflix and the hardest part is trying to find a movie and NOT in the positive way. Never have I logged onto my account and thought "Sheesh, this gonna be tough! There's just so many great Oscar winners here!" and in a way that kind of angers me. But, I do understand that there are some low-budget independent films that are actually worth the time to watch. Despite the fact that in these movies the boom mic operator keeps dropping the mic into the scenes, the talent is actually better than the A-list actors we see today. Sometimes, the movie even manages to (take note Michael Bay) tell a great story!
I am the Netflix Martyr. I am here to dive into the deepest depths of Netflix and review the movies you can usually only find after an hour of scraping at the bottom of the bargain barrel at Wal-Mart. I watch these movies so you don't have to. If you're ever unsure of whether or not a certain movie you find recommended to you is worth it, check out my posts and consider my opinion. I'm always open to requests for certain movies and suggestions on how to better my blog.
Cheers,
The Netflix Martyr
Cheers,
The Netflix Martyr
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